Society

For Ukrainian couples, waiting for peace is not an option

Amid the uncertainty of war, Ukrainian couples are rushing to wed near the frontlines, choosing love now, while tomorrow remains uncertain.

Gathered in a wedding hall in the Ukrainian city of Sloviansk, near the front line, Anna and Pavlo Chornobai exchange rings to the applause of a dozen of the groom's fellow soldiers. The bride insisted on a white dress for the civil ceremony. But on everything else, including the prospect of celebrating with friends and family, the Russian invasion of Ukraine has forced her to make compromises. 'When I was a girl, there were horses and a puffy dress in my plans, so it's a bit different, but I don't regret it at all,' says the 22-year-old. [Andrii Kalchenko/AFPTV/AFP]

By AFP |

SLOVIANSK, Ukraine -- Gathered in a wedding hall in the Ukrainian city of Sloviansk, near the front line, Anna and Pavlo Chornobai exchanged rings to the applause of a dozen of the groom's fellow soldiers.

The bride insisted on a white dress for the civil ceremony. But on everything else, including the prospect of celebrating with friends and family, the Russian invasion of Ukraine forced her to make compromises.

"When I was a girl there were horses and a puffy dress in my plans, so it's a bit different, but I don't regret it at all," said the 22-year-old with a cherub tattoo on her collarbone.

The war has given a sense of urgency to many military couples in Ukraine. Many see no point in waiting for a peace that seems little more than a mirage.

Pavlo Chornobai, a Ukrainian serviceman, and his bride, Anna, exchange rings during their wedding ceremony in Sloviansk, Donetsk province, on April 25. [Roman Pilipey/AFP]
Pavlo Chornobai, a Ukrainian serviceman, and his bride, Anna, exchange rings during their wedding ceremony in Sloviansk, Donetsk province, on April 25. [Roman Pilipey/AFP]
Anna and her groom, Pavlo Chornobai (C-R), a Ukrainian serviceman, pose for a picture with Pavlo's fellow soldiers, during their wedding ceremony in Sloviansk, Donetsk province, April 25. [Roman Pilipey/AFP]
Anna and her groom, Pavlo Chornobai (C-R), a Ukrainian serviceman, pose for a picture with Pavlo's fellow soldiers, during their wedding ceremony in Sloviansk, Donetsk province, April 25. [Roman Pilipey/AFP]

Talk of ceasefires and an end to the three-year war have gripped Western capitals.

But that all feels far from the reality in Sloviansk, about 20km from the front lines.

With each air raid alert that rang out, the civil registry office's administrator, a woman in her 50s with a peroxide blond perm, ordered most visitors out of the building.

They waited in front of a beige block initially built to be a cinema, topped with a rusty steel sign reading "Mria" -- meaning dream in Ukrainian.

'More decisive'

Pavlo's comrades were allowed in through the main entrance of the building, an exception.

"It's a pity that not all brothers-in-arms lived to see this. There are a lot of deaths," Pavlo said.

The 19-year-old said he had no doubts about his surprise proposal to Anna on December 31 despite having met only two months earlier when she served him coffee at a popular pastry chain.

"When you live at war, you become more decisive, more confident in your actions. War has quite influenced life; it changed it radically," he said.

Anna said she had luckily gotten a manicure ahead of New Year's Eve, ensuring perfect nails for photos of the ring.

Ivan Salko said a gruelling experience on the front had pushed him to propose to his girlfriend, Tetyana.

He spent four months defending a tough position in the eastern hotspot of Toretsk with no phone service or way of communicating with Tetyana.

"I was constantly thinking, I need to get out, and when I do, I need to accomplish something," Salko told AFP.

He proposed on a video-call from hospital while recovering from several wounds and a concussion.

Tetyana almost broke down when she saw him on the screen.

"I understood it was difficult for him so I kept it together. I looked into his happy eyes, I was happy to see him. And then he proposed," she said.

But the prospect of another lengthy separation hung over their wedding in Sloviansk.

Salko was due to go back to the front the following day -- this was their last opportunity to tie the knot, or otherwise be forced to wait for his next leave.

'No time'

In the face of the Russian invasion, Ukraine has introduced a video-link portal for couples to get married remotely, without needing to travel across the war-torn country to meet.

Marriage offers some reassurance to military families, as spouses receive social support and are guaranteed a call if the partner is killed or wounded.

But there is a months-long waiting list, said Lilya Lyashenko, who travelled to Sloviansk to marry Viktor Kravchuk.

"We would like it to be different. To go home, to reality. To celebrate and get married according to traditions. But there's no time," said Kravchuk.

Anna and Pavlo Chornobai managed to sneak in a few rituals to their hasty marriage ceremony.

After the wedding officiant pronounced them husband and wife, Anna threw her bouquet to Pavlo's fellow servicemen.

The flowers flew up toward the ceiling and then crashed on the floor, much to the group's amusement.

A tall soldier rushed to scoop them up, smiled and bowed.

"Don't postpone love for later; that's probably the most important thing," Anna said.

"Don't wait for the right moment."

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